Fear

A lot of people I know passed away last year and at the start of this year. That freaks me out. I told my friend about it and her reaction was too casual. She said that all of us will go there; so, why would I be afraid? In reality, it does not just scare me - it haunts me!Now, I'm figuring out where I'm coming from.

I grew up seeing my mom suffer from her heart disease and stomach cramps. I was always scared that they might attack anytime. It made me dread that thing that I still don't want to say. Every time my mom got sick, she would always tell me to be ready for it. I hate that feeling! I don't know if that's normal; but, it still comes to my mind from time to time especially now that I'm getting more mature. (Just like a few years ago.) I was used to witnessing my dad being the strongest in the family; so, when we found out that he has diabetes, it made me anxious even more. Now, we're always worried about his health. My sister and I are always concerned about our parents, their health and their safety. When my dad travels, I would pray really hard. When I go somewhere, I would always think of it as well. When I go apart from my loved ones even for a few hours, I would feel that. It's not good anymore, right? I'm thinking of consulting a counselor, a priest, or a psychiatrist. Oh God/ess! Please help me! I don't want to attract negative energies! Please! I need to help myself!