Random Thoughts on the 31st of August

Today's the last day of August. It's at the same time the Philippine's National Heroes' Day. I have a lot of things in mind now. I was supposed to talk about my country's heroes. I also wanted to write something about the end of August and the start of the _ber months which most Filipinos enthusiastically anticipate. Bear with me for this is one of those compositions that's not very worth reading.

While everyone was enjoying the holiday, I went to work. So I thought it would be an ordinary day. But it didn't turn out that way; someone made it special. Someone gave me a reason to smile in an extraordinary way. All the stuffs I was thinking earlier were overcome by that single action of that person. It was like that person would turn my world into a whirlwind. I felt a happiness I couldn't explain; but then, I had doubts inside. Why would he make a way to reach out again? Was it really his decision? Or did I do something that made him do it? Here I am again.. Thinking too far.. Light years away from what's actually happening. It's such a big deal for me.

BUT I know that my friend is right. I should be flattered of what he did; but at the same time, I should not expect anything. Perhaps it was nothing for him. It's hard though not to expect when the man is special for you. But I know I can do it. I will do it. I will just enjoy things for now. I will take it one day at a time.

My Mantra

You Can Be What You Want To Be

There is inside you all of the potential
to be whatever you want to be...
all of the energy to do whatever
you want to do.
Imagine yourself as you would like to be,
doing what you want to do,
and each day, take one step towards
your dream.
And though at times it may seem too
difficult to continue,
hold on to your dream.
One morning you will awake to find
that you are the person you dreamed of...
doing what you wanted to do...
simply because you had the courage
to believe in your potential
and to hold on to your dream.

~Donna Levine~

I thank our trainer at YBM
Sisa who shared this with us.

Oh Boy, Don't Underestimate your Appendix!

I've always thought that the appendix has no worth. It's just there. Period. Sometimes, I've asked why it was there if it had no purpose at all. No one could answer me. In fact, I know some people who had theirs removed; but, nothing unusual (not even complications) happened to them. They're still the same as their normal selves. I therefore concluded that it was indeed not really necessary until today.

In the latest research I read in Yahoo News, they discovered that "the appendix is more than a useless remnant." I also didn't know that it was believed to be just the remains of a larger thing called cecum. Freedictionary.com defines it as the cavity in which the large intestine begins and into which the ileum opens. Now after some investigations, they recently found out that the appendix "serves as a vital safehouse where good bacteria could lie in wait until they were needed to repopulate the gut after a nasty case of diarrhea. Past studies had also found the appendix can help make, direct, and train white blood cells." You read it right! Appendix is not useless, people! There's this thing though that I don't totally understand. In that article, they say that people can have appendicitis or the inflammation of appendix because of cultural changes. Because we have developed some ways to sanitize our food and the said organ works with the immune system, they have fewer works to do and have more time with themselves.

Anyway, I had this very enlightening realization. Haha! Cliche but true: Everything has a purpose. Hence, we should take care of all that we have. Bow!

Weird Dream

I had a weird dream last night. I'm a bit disturbed what that means or if that has a meaning in my life. Here it went:

I was in the bathroom that looked familiar but I don't exactly know where and I can't remember what I was doing. There were hollow blocks around it and a long green snake suddenly came out from one of the blocks. I'm not sure if it was following me; but, I instantly went out. I was so scared of course; I asked my brothers to kill it. They told me that they already did but there was no relief in me. Then from the house, the place changed to the church or the school. This time, I remember our church and school in the province. I was with my friend Z. We were just walking when out of the blue, a snake that looked the same appeared. I was so terrified! Z told me that it might be going after me. I felt the panic within me more. Then, I forgot what happened next - if I already woke up or still slept. But, I didn't feel bad when I got up.

If I'm not mistaken, it was the first time that I dreamt of a snake. I was so worried this morning and searched for its meaning right after my classes were finished. They say that a snake symbolizes fear, an enemy, or a sexual symbol. Sometimes, it could also mean danger. Waaah! It's making me nuts! I was only thinking of my Creatives report before going to sleep. So, I'd just like to think that I should already start doing it. If not, I'll be in danger.. God/ess, please help me. :)

What a Saturday!

It was my first day in my Spanish class' new level last Saturday. I didn't wake up that late. I still had time to do my rituals except for the breakfast. After dressing up, I went straight to my friend's house. We always go to school together even we don't belong to the same class. We were very excited. We were looking forward to new classmates, new teacher, and new lessons. Apart from those, I didn't expect any other extraordinary things happening on that day. Of course, I was wrong. It's really true that there's always a first time.

I've been going to Instituto Cervantes, Manila for more than a year already; but, I've never experienced the city's infamous flood during rainy days until last Saturday. We rode an fx and it took us more than 2 hours from Cubao to Kalaw. Normally, we can get to school for less than an hour. Imagine how long long that was. It wasn't raining anymore; so, you'll expect how hot Manila could be. Plus, imagine how Philippine public transportation is. We were squeezed in in that FX. I knew that we would be late. I couldn't do anything but to watch the view in front of me. People were walking with water almost as high as their knees. Pedicab drivers were selling a bill of goods. My friend and I were victims ourselves. We paid 20Php each for the driver to bring us to a place just in front of us. We were only two feet away from it. Anyhow, it didn't really matter as long as I could get to my class without being soaked. Good thing they're earning money.

Going home was no different. My friend and I waited for an fx for almost an hour. Nothing came. So, we just decided to ride a cab to an LRT station. Because it was still darn traffic even there was no flood anymore, we weren't dropped off at the station. We had to cross the street and pass that long footbridge under the midday heat of the sun. We could have already been relieved getting on the train; but, their air con wasn't also working well. What a day!

Nevertheless, it was quite an experience! Did I mention that my classmate treated us for breakfast? It was her birthday! I also liked my new Spanish teacher. He by the way didn't get mad because of my tardiness. He was a bit threatening. No doubt, our class will always be challenging! It was still not a bad day for me! Thank God/ess!

Maraming Salamat!

When I was five or six years old, I remember seeing (on the cover of a magazine), Time Magazine if I'm not mistaken, a picture of a man lying dead. He had much bruises and contusions. I didn't know what happened to him; but, I can't and will never forget his face. I felt so..so wretched during that time. I wasn't sure why.

As I grew older or rather grow older (I've never stopped growing yet!), I also have a clearer picture of who and what kind of a man the person on the magazine was. As I find more things about him, I also admire him more. I'm becoming more aware why he's become the Philippine's modern hero. At first, I saw him as Marcos' opponent because some people told me that the ex-president was the one behind his murder. Then, a person in the 500-peso-bill. Next, he was a former senator who said that "Filipinos are worth dying for." There was also a time when I looked at him as the late husband of the former Pres. Corazon C. Aqunio and the dad of Kris Aquino.

Now that I'm already 24 and more mature, I can say that I almost totally understand Senator Ninoy Aquino's life and how he started to bring democracy back in the country. I wasn't born yet during the Martial Law. I wasn't even here yet even when they killed him; but, I don't need to live in that era for me to know how he suffered from the iron hand of the dictator. Despite that, he didn't give up, even in his last moment.

Today, as we commemorate his 26th death anniversary, I look around our country. The iron hand still exists in many forms. Our politics is still corrupt. But then, Sen. Ninoy continuously inspires a common Filipino like me to do something for our nation. In fact, his late wife once said that "Filipinos are worth living for." I'm still not losing hope for our country. Ninoy taught us that we can stand up for what we believe in, that small things can be the start of gigantic ones. There's a Ninoy in all of us. I know. I can be a good Filipino in my own little way. Thank you for the inspiration, Senator! Now, I know why I felt wretched when I saw his picture. I knew then that they killed our hero.

My Thought for the Day

I pray for myself, my family, my relatives, my friends, my country, and the world.

May we find peace and joy in everything that we do.

That we may be able to see meaning in it.

May we love and understand each other.

That we may always remember to thank our Creator and the people who mold us.

May we find our purpose here on earth.

In every decision we make, we may also think of the majority's sake

and

May we do all these things for God/ess' glory.

Amen.

Rubbing Salt in a Wound

There's an English idiom that goes like "rub salt in a wound" which means "to deliberately make someone's unhappiness, shame, or misfortune worse." Why am I saying it? Well, I just learned a Filipino term "inaalat" (signifying bad luck) from my mom and my sister yesterday but I couldn't find its counterpart with the word salt in English. Instead, I stumbled upon that idiom. Anyhow, Mom and Ate were saying that we're incessantly having bad lucks. I hope not. I don't want to believe in it. I know that there are things that beyond our control; but, it's still us who'll decide our future. In my heart, I'm sure that our life will soon get better.

Thinking it over, it dawned on me that there are indeed people who rub salt in the wound. They won't stop until you slump down. It's like they just live to make you suffer, to make your life miserable. I wonder why. I ponder what kind of people they are. I mull what kind of childhood they had. I pity them. What about the lives of people who each just want to have a happy life? How about those who only intend to live harmoniously with others? What about my tatay who simply want to get his job done well; so, he could support us? What about him who merely care for the people? I feel for him. In that, he already wants to retire early. We also want that. But how can he do it if her children are not yet earning enough for the family? I want to get mad at those unpleasant mortals; but, I can't. My parents didn't bring me up like that. Shame on them! I'll just pray for them.

Again, in my heart, I believe that these too will pass.. Our problems will all be solved soon. Our family can one day smile without the heartaches. Those people will realize that they can also be happy without hurting others. And Ate and Mommy can say that we're unceasingly having good lucks. *wink*

Anniversary

Anniversaries always fascinate me. There's always joy whenever I hear it. It comes with celebrations most of the time. Some couples and lovers even hold parties on their anniversaries. And today is my first anniversary with this company. Time does fly! I didn't even notice it. Could it be because I'm enjoying my job? (I hope so.) How am I going to remember it? Hmmm..

I honestly don't know how. I'll probably just look back how my life was more than a year ago.

"This year, I will explore different kinds of jobs until I find the real one for me." That was what exactly I told Tatay at the start of 2008. I meant it. I really wanted to try different kinds of fields last year. I thought it would be fun. After I resigned from the call center, I took a rest first and continued my part-time job as an English teacher in an academy. Then, I applied to what they say one of the pioneer in on line English education centers in Korea. I luckily got accepted. I felt privileged because I know some people who didn't make it. It was okay at first. I found some good friends that I still have now. Nevertheless, I wanted a more challenging and a higher paying job. I found this in a place near our house. The salary's almost double than I was earning. I tried it and got in. I thought it was the one; but then, I didn't pass the last exam. =D It was so painful! I'm not sure why but I think it was because I've never failed anything for the past two years - just this one. I was confused that time. I didn't want anything but to work in that company. I felt so low that time. Good thing I was raised to be positive all the time. Instead of pitying myself, I updated my resume and my membership to online job search. Most of the job openings were in call centers and Korean companies. My current company was one of them. You know what happened next. As they say, "The rest is history."

After a year, I can indeed say that I'm happy with my job. Because of my schedule here, I can study and pursue my teaching dream. Because of it, I can enjoy things like reading news, blogging on line, and doing the school requirements. It's definitely not a perfect company. It has in fact lots of flaws but I feel at home here.

After a year, though I'm not sure if this job is really the one for me but I'm certain that all were worth it and that I didn't waste anything. I've learned some things and gained some good friends. That's the sweetest thing. ;)

Things That I'm Grateful For

While I was walking around Fully Booked (one of my favorite stores) more than a year ago, I came across the book "The Secret." It talks about how our dreams can come true. One of the most known principles discussed in that book is that "You're the greatest magnet in the universe." It doesn't apply though that positive poles attract negative poles. In our case, positivity pulls positivity. In a nutshell, it promotes optimism. Whatever happens to us, we should always psyche ourselves to be positive.

Let's say, you woke up late. You could have two reactions in that instance. First, you might blame the alarm clock and one of your family members for not waking you up. You could break something while going to the bathroom. You could ruin the day of the people in the house. Second, you could thank God that you were still able to wake up and smile. Then, you could reach the office without destroying others' day. We always have to choose every day.

Another idea that I liked in that book is that if we want to improve our lives, we must first learn to be contented with what we have now. In short, we can achieve our dreams only if we're thankful and grateful of what we have.

I always describe myself as a dreamer and believer. Because I have trillions of dreams; I'm now taking time to list all the things that I'm grateful for.

• I'm grateful because I still experience how wonderful it is to be alive.
• I'm grateful because I have a very supportive and loving family.


• I'm grateful because I have my mom who loves me unconditionally.
• I'm grateful because I have a sister who prods me whenever I forget to do the right things.


• I'm grateful because I have a tatay who's always beside me in all my battles.
• I'm grateful because I have two brothers who love me even they don't tell it.
• I'm grateful because I never run out of friends whom I can call or text whenever I want to or need to.


• I'm grateful because I have a home to live at.


• I'm grateful because I eat more than three meals a day.


• I'm grateful because I have lots of clothes to wear.


• I'm grateful because I have water to drink.


• I'm grateful because I'm well.


• I'm grateful because I can still go to work.


• I'm grateful because I have a nice job.


• I'm grateful because I have friends who never stop helping me.


• I'm grateful because I can still sleep.


• I'm grateful because I'm a Catholic.


• I'm grateful because I was able to finish college.


• I'm grateful because I'm studying again.


• I'm grateful because I know that there's God who will never abandon me.


• I'm grateful that I can still pray.


• I'm grateful that I have a soft bed and pillows.


• I'm grateful because there are people who remind me to be humble.


• I'm grateful because I go to my friends' birthday parties.


• I'm grateful because I have relatives who are always there for me.


• I'm grateful because I have nice bosses.


• I'm grateful because I have friendly coworkers


• I'm grateful that I still get to enjoy how to be single.


• I'm grateful because I still have a lot of things to learn.


• I'm grateful because I can still appreciate the little things I have.


• I'm grateful for the sun, the moon, the night, the day, the birds, the dog, etc.


• I'm grateful because I can watch TV, read books, etc.


• I'm grateful that I'm given chances to change and improve myself.


• I'm grateful for the people and the things that I have.


• I'm grateful for all the things that I could still do.


• I'm grateful because I know how to be thankful of everything.

"And I love you so much.. And I love you so.."

It's the sweetest dream I've ever had.
It's one of the best mornings I had.
It's the nicest way to start my day.

I had the biggest smile with certain calmness in my heart when I woke up. After brushing my teeth and giving my niece food, I grabbed the first pencil and paper I saw. I wanted to make sure that I would be able to remember that sweet dream. I don't want to go into details anymore. All I want to remember is the ending.

He was hugging me so tightly singing with the background song "And I love you so much.. And I love you so.." I'm sure he was feeling each word of the song.

I'm wondering though why he was sad as if we were going apart. We were at the side of the road. The cars were passing. I know that someone was behind us; but, I didn't care and bother to look back. It was so peaceful with him. I can definitely say that.. I've finally found my niche.

What's the latest?

I feel relieved because today's Friday. But my brain's already on weekend mode. I can't think of any topic to write here.. I'll just share what I read today.

President Arroyo continues to receive criticisms both in the country and in the USA for spending almost two million pesos in her two dinners while in America for a state visit. She was reported to have dined in two expensive restaurants - one in a French restaurant called Le Cirque and the other in Bobby Van's Steakhouse. People are reacting violently because they know how hard life is for a lot of Filipinos these days. Most think that the money they lavishly used could have fed millions. The Malacanang, however, is denying it. They reasoned that the president was just treated in those meal and that she didn't spend any single penny. (Philippine Star) I say, really? Then, who paid it? Can our leaders who claim to love the nation stomach to pay out that much for dinner considering their beloved countrymen? Phooey!

"Crushie"

I still remember the feeling of having a crush on someone for the first time. Guess how old I was! Six, girl! I could recall that the boy was a bit special than anyone else in our class. It felt good whenever he was calling my name. I think I noticed him because he was the naughtiest in Kinder. See?! I wasn't flirt! He was the one who sought my attention. =p Defensive, ehh?

When you grow up and know and understand things more, having a crush would make your world exciting! I was in the fifth grade then when I had another crush. It was deeper this time. I would think of him every day, every night, and every second. Weee! This was the time when I became concerned of my appearance. I would always look forward and would make a way to see him. Then when I'd see him, I couldn't explain the feeling. I'd chill, shiver, perspire, and my heart would beat faster. *sigh*

I can say that we can have crush on different people with different degree. It doesn't matter. The feeling's always wonderful after all. Yes, I have a crush now!

I was talking to my friend when I first saw this guy. I spotted him because he doesn't look like any ordinary guys I know. He's always in formal attire (while I'm always in jeans). He looks like an actor.. Hmmm.. I just can't remember who. Oh well.. I can't give much details about him yet; since, I haven't really talked to him. It's just nice that someone's making me smile these days..

I Learned...

My Creative Teaching teacher gave us a copy of his compilation of really good readings about creativity, education, life, etc. I'm loving it! An article talking about some learnings of people from different ages inspired me. It's weird that we learn things differently. It's funny that we don't acquire a certain knowledge the same age as other people do. The important thing is that all these matter in our life. We could still pick up from the things that we learned when we were young. I've thought of mine...

• When I was five or six, I learned that no matter how hard I would cry, Tay and Mom would still go to work and that sleeping could help me forget that. A few minutes after I'd wake up, Tay would already return to fetch me from Nanay's house.
• I also learned at five or six, that if I'd follow the grown-ups, they would give me some stuffs I liked.
• In Kinder, I learned that some of my classmates could be nicer than the others and that I could notice a boy in a unique way. Haha!
• In third grade, I learned that not all my classmates who seemed to have lots of money were rich.

• In the same year, I learned that wanting to be in the honor roll could affect friendship.

• In sixth grade, I learned that a teacher could like some kids better than she did the others and that some of my classmates could be my true friends.
• When I was in first year high school, I found out that dancing can be learned if you really want to. It's better though if you start learning it early.
• In second year, I learned that I can't dance, play scrabble, run, and recite a poem at the same time.
• In third year, I learned that I could perfect Math problems if I would just be given enough time to solve them.
• In fourth year, I learned that I couldn't be with my classmates forever.
• When I was in first year college, I learned that I should ask the jeepney driver first if they'd pass Katipunan. I had to ride wrong jeepneys for me to remember which jeepney would pass it and which would not.
• In third year, I learned that I could be good at speaking if I'd only prepare and do my best.
• In my OJT days, I learned how fast money goes. From the moment I left home and ride a tricycle, I would already have to spend it.
• In fourth year, I learned that I couldn't be a student all my life.
• At 21, when I started working, I learned that it's difficult to clean the bathroom.
• At 22, I learned that men could just be very friendly.
• At 23, I learned that changing an environment and doing something else really help people to forget.
• At 24, I learned that I can be I can also do art works.

There Are Really Days

There are really days when you're not in the mood to do something,

When you drag yourself to work,

When you can't function well,

When all you want to do is to stay at home and sleep.

There are days when you feel bad,

When every thing seems to go wrong,

When no one appears to be there for you,

When all you want to do is to go away and weep.

There are days when you're really really angry,

When you easily get annoyed on something,

When you like no one,

When all you want to do is to go up to the mountain and scream.

But there are also days when you feel so light,

When every thing seems to be on its right place,

When you like evrything and everyone you see,

When you can go anywhere with anyone.

"Those days!" they say.

It's funny that we can feel different things every day.

It just depends on us though,

I realize that we can always control our feelings,

We can always control our actions.

So, it up to you!

I Hate It

I hate it when I see you cry,

I hate it when you're hurt,

I hate it when you're sad,

I hate it when someone's making you feel those.

Tatay, Ate, and you are the most important people in my life.
I'm crying inside whenever I cause you pain.
I'm so sorry, Mom!

I hate it that I'm the one who hurts you the most,

I hate it when I make you sad,

I hate it when I become the reason why you don't feel good about yourself,

I HATE MYSELF FOR BEING THE REASON OF YOUR PAIN, Mom.

For You

Today, I say goodbye to you, my dear friend,

To a friend who's been very funny,

To a friend since grade school,
To our dancer, singer, and heartthrob,

To a friend I missed, a friend who reached out,

To a friend I lost again.

I didn't have time to go to your funeral,

Though it doesn't mean that you don't matter to me,

You'll always be remembered.

Our last two conversations are still vivid to me.

A week before that unfortunate day,

You told me that you wanted to change,

That you've already lost some good things because of your hard-headedness,

That you wanted to fix your life.

You were proud of your daughter,

You described how she is at school,

"Teacher complains about her naughtieness," you said,

You loved her.

Then a day before it, we upadated each other,

On what we were up to that day,

I thought you were in a good spirit,

You were joking,

I didn't have a chance to say goodbye.

On that Tuesday, your best friend told us the distressing news.

I couldn't believe it!

It couldn't happen to you!

I coun't imagine even in my wildest dreams that you could do it!

It couldn't be true!

We visited you that day, we saw you,

You were lying down without life in that thing I don't want to see.

You looked so happy and peaceful,

But still, it didn't sink in.

At the back of my mind, I was still thinking that it was just a dream.

It's only now that I'm starting to realize,

It's now after you were buried yesterday,

It's only now that I'm feeling the pain of your lost.

We will all miss you!

Thank you for all the good, funny, and not so good memories!

You will remain to be one of my very good friends.

We will always pray for you.

Too Late for Regret?..

For Saturday; 8 August 09

I promised myself to have something here every day. Though I didn't do it because of my hectic schedule, I still want to write for yesterday. I'm feeling bad at the moment. :( I don't know what was with me yesterday.

I started my day with my friend. We had breakfast at KFC (because she wanted to try their breakfast meals which were new to us) before going to Instituto. After my class there, I went straight to Miriam. My class started at 2:45 and ended at 6:00 PM. We finished late because we celebrated Sir Yani's birthday during the break. We also had our test. Every thing went okay. I knew I would go to my friend's wake for sure. I was just thinking if I could still drop by at my other friend's birthday party. On my way to Ali Mall (where my family and I have our regular anticipated Mass), I already texted my friends asking what time they were going to the wake. I celebrated Mass and had dinner with my family. Then, my friend texted that she couldn't go anymore because of some things she needed to finish. Because she's my closest friend there, I didn't know if I would still go. Then after an hour, she texted again telling me that she was already there. I asked Mom if I could still go; she said that it was too late for me to go. I didn't insist. Though I was still thinking of it in bed.

Then, today at about 12:00 PM, Ate texted me that the cremation would be at 2:00 PM and said that it would be too late for me to go. I was thinking if I could still go; but, I didn't insist.

Now, I'm feeling what I've done. I'm asking myself why I didn't insist on going. Why didn't I let that moment pass? That moment when I could see and say goodbye to my friend for the last time? :( I'm feeling sorry! I wish my prayers will make my shortcoming less.. I wish..

My Precious

Mom told me that Tatay and she didn't expect that they were still gonna have another child after Ate. Yes, I was a surprise! Ate persistently prayed and asked God/ess to give her a baby sister! Her wish was granted! On the 26th day of May 1985, when Mom was 36 y/o, she gave birth to me. I have mixed emotions whenever I remember the story behind it. Mom was in pain that day. (She always had a hard time bearing a child.) While she was bleeding, my sister visited in the hospital. She didn't worry nor bother to ask how Mom was; but instead, happily watched me in the nursery. That was my first meeting with my ate!

My sister is nine years older than me; so, you'll expect that we're not the kind of sisters who played nor went to school together. In fact, my memory, with her when I was a preschooler, is not very clear, or even vague, I think. I can only name two things. The first one's really from me which was when I accompanied her at the back of our church to have a picture with her crush that time or boyfriend? I'm not sure though. I was too young to know. The other one's just from her. She told me that I used to pinch her. Heeh! Peace, Ate!

When I started to go to grade school, she came here, to Manila, to enter the university. Almost every week, I had a letter and food from her! She used to send me anything I wanted. Whenever there was a ship from Manila, I always felt excited because I knew that Ate never failed to give me something. When my favorite bands had released new albums, I would have them because of her. I was updated with the latest trends! And of course, when she went home for the Christmas vacation, I still had presents. I had more presents than anyone else in the house. Thank you, Ate!

In summer, Tay, Mom, and I were the ones who came to Manila. There were also some instances when my parents chose to stay in Culion; so, I was alone with Ate. She sometimes left me to Ate Son's house or tagged me along to her office or to the field. In her free time, she brought me to shopping malls, parks, etc. I would have all the things (from my parents and her) I needed and wanted before going back to the province. Then, we would end up crying at the port. I'm so grateful to have you, Ate!

I spent all my elementary and high school years in the province. College was totally a different world for me. And my sister was there all throughout this some kind of challenging and fun school years of my life. She was even the one who selected the school for me. I was so lucky because of that. All I had to do when I was in college was to study. My sister took care of rest of the things for me. She was the one who did all the house chores - from cleaning, washing our clothes, to cooking our food. Ate also helped me with my projects and homework and gave me a piece of advice whenever I needed one. She was that kind of sister. Despite that fact, I still gave her some head and heartaches. I'm sorry, Ate! I didn't mean those.

Now that I'm already working, Ate remains to be the kind of sister that she is. She's still always on my side whether I'm fighting for trifle to big things. I can count on her most of the time. I bug her and text her almost every day asking or sharing something. Ate still cooks food for us. She still buys me things. She understands my mood swings. I can't ask for more. She defines the true meaning of a sister. I can't imagine my life without her. I love you, Ate!

It seems that Ate's been devoting her life for us (her family) all these years. I hope a day will come when Ate can take care of her own life or better of her man (to be) too and have her own family who'll look after her. I also wish that I can do something for her. I wish, I can give the most precious things, she's been giving me, back. God bless you, Ate! I'm not sure if you know how I appreciate you. No words can describe it. YOU'RE SIMPLY THE BEST SISTER ANYONE COULD EVER HAVE! Thank you because I have my life now. I hope you didn't regret asking for me from God/ess. ;) I want to be at least a good sister for you. You're one of my inspirations, Ate!

How To Elaborate My Life

Elaboration is the ability to design, enhance, add, and subtract details of something old to make it look new again. It's one of the cognitive concepts of creativity. Last time, my Creative Teaching professor gave us homework entitled "How To Elaborate My Life."

Hmmm.. I came up with this list:

• Dive into anything and every thing I do.
• Fall in love.
• Change my looks (from hairstyle to clothes) from time to time.
• Have a tattoo?..
• Learn different kinds of languages.
• Learn different kinds of sports.
• Learn how to do different kinds of crafts.
• Try different kinds of food and drinks around the world.
• Get lost.
• Water Adventure: swim with dolphins and/or whales; ride a submarine; etc.
• Sky/Space Adventure: fly an airplane; ride a space ship; sky dive
• Land Adventure: go hiking, mountain climbing, etc.
• Have a food business, maybe a store selling sandwiches and fruit shakes.
• Invent a time machine and a mind reader.
• Travel the world.
• Experience how different kinds of people live from time to time.
• Spend a week in the beach.
• Help less fortunate people.

I wish I could do some things here. Life's really exciting! There's no reason for us to be bored with it. All we have to do it to look around and be creative to make it more exciting. We can do trillions of things!

Unreturned Love

"There are lots of perks to be a woman." they say. You get to doll up, fix your hair, and have men woo you. In fact, many of the latter want to be like us. Haha! On a serious note, everything's not about fairy tales for women. Falling in love, for instance. I've learned that it brings us heartaches most of the time.

How come it's acceptable for men to show their feelings for us while we're called flirt or bitch when we do it. It's not fair at all!

I know some women who love deeply; but, the persons whom they offer their feelings to can't return it back. How depressing! The former are ready to give their every thing; but, the men can only offer their friendship.. :(

After a number of years, the women will still hope that a day will come when the men can finally love them. They'll (women) find out that they're wrong; so, they'll open their hearts to other men. They dream that they'll finally have their own Mr. Rights. Yet, they will just be hurt again. They'll feel the same longing and ask what they lack.

This is for all the women who are still looking for such thing they call "love." May you finally find and experience it soon. I'm hoping that some of us are not just ready yet. Or maybe, our destinies are still being prepared by our Father/Mother. Go, girls! ;)

Why?

At exactly 6:10 this morning, I received a text message from a classmate that my friend died by committing suicide. He said it straight casually just like that. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! I just had a chat with him in ym yesterday! There was no sign! He was happy.. I suppose..

He was the first one who sent me a message. He said "hi." I answered back with "hello." He asked how I was. I told him that I was having my dysmenorrhea. He jested about it telling me that he was also having his period. I asked how his job application abroad was going. "There's no update yet." he said. He told me that he was the one looking after their shop. I asked where it is. I mentioned that I go to Instituto Cervantes ,which is near their place, every Saturday. That was the end of our conversation. He didn't answer anymore. I also didn't bug him. I wish I did!

Not a Very Good Day

I was supposed to write something about my visit, with Mom, Ate, and Peter, to Pres. Cory's wake this morning. =( But I can't think..

Today's the first day of my monthly period. Some women look forward to it. I'm definitely not one of them! I don't like this day! Ouchy! It's always super painful! =( I don't know why. I've already had some check-ups done; but, the doctor didn't see anything.. Haayyy! Oh God! It pays to be a woman! Heeh! I guess it's also because it's Monday! Haayy! Monday blues!

I still have to smile though.. ^-^ I've got to end this day gracefully.

Secrets to Success

I'm loving my Creative Teaching class! My teacher is awesome! He was at the Ateneo before teaching grade schoolers. He also taught Theater there. Anyway, what I like about him is that he really helps and encourages us to be creative in every way. His class is activity-based. You'll expect something different every session! I'm learning a lot from him!

I made this masterpiece in his class. Haha! Ate was so surprised when she saw me coming up with this! She didn't know that I could also be creative. *wink*

This activity was entitled "Found Poetry." Sir Yani asked us to bring a magazine and/or newspapers, cut out any pictures and phrases from them, and paste them on an illustration board.

It was so fun doing it! At first, I didn't know what to do; but, was amazed when I finally made it. What made me sad was that I wasn't able to present it well. I think I could do better that I did. I feel shy when I'm in front of the class. Yeah! I still do so even after taking Ms. Galura's Public Speaking class. Maybe, that's normal. Oh well.. There's still next time. We learn every day. Hopefully, I can do better next time. ^^

My work's title is "Secrets to Success." I cut the illustration board into a little girl which symbolizes the girl in me because we sometimes forget what children appreciate. I used the clippings I found to make up the girl's body parts. Then, I put the word "dream" on her head. To be successful, the first thing that we have to do is to dream. Every thing starts there. The rest is self-explanatory.

Thank you, President Cory!

It has been a month since President Corazon C. Aquino got hospitalized because of not having appetite. She was diagnosed to have colon cancer a year ago. Filipinos joined hands to pray for her recovery. There were vigils and Holy Masses not just in the Philippines but also in the other countries. You could see yellow ribbons on the street and her pictures at the entrance of some schools.

And today, on the 1st day of August 2009.. Mrs. Aquino's pain ended. She passed away at 3:18 AM while she and her family were praying the Holy Rosary. =(

The country and the world are mourning now.

As a Filipino, I can feel the sadness. There's something in me that asks: what will happen in our country now that she's gone? Who will sincerely initiate a true change? But then, she has also to take a rest. I guess all those years are enough. She has already done everything for our country.

Now is our time to do our part. I hope as she left us, all her values will remain with us forever. It will be an eye-opener for us to do what we can for the good of our beloved country. Let's not blame each other for all our misfortunes; may we realize that it should start with ourselves.

President Cory, thank you very much for every thing! You'll always be an inspiration. I may not change our country; but, I will try my very best to become a better person. Thank you, God/ess!