Another Letter

I've never had a relationship before, so I 

don't know if what I'm about to do is right. The only

thing I know is that I want to be honest with you. I would also appreciate if 

you'd do the same thing. Rest assured that this will be the last time that

I'm going to talk about this. I just really really want to know the truth.

You already answered it before, yet our conversation that time wasn't that serious.

If I remember it right, we were just chatting that time.

Last night, I didn't get a good sleep. Why? I realized

that I'm getting used to talking to you every day. I got

scared. 

Maybe now you're asking what makes me scared. Well, the other night,

we had a conversation about your ex. Actually, I wasn't so convinced with your answers.

I'm not sure if you noticed that.

You know that I've had a lot of friends whose hearts

were broken by the men they trusted the most, right? So we always had these

long conversations trying to figure out why their men did this and that. Now, I wonder

why can't men answer those questions themselves. 

So, here! I'm trying to be brave. This is the first time in my life that

I'll be blatantly frank. I want it to come from you, and I believe I deserve

an honest answer. Have you really moved on? You already answered it, but are you sure

that I'm not your rebound? Why are these questions coming out again? Because I cound't sleep 

last night, I googled the signs that tell if a guy has already moved on from his ex or signs

that tell if a girl is a guy's rebound. Guess what you got two of those signs.

Number one, you were too clingy at the start of our friendship. I already mentioned it

the other time, right? You were already saying that you miss me, etc.

Number two, when you started courting me, you posted stuff on my wall. Why? Was that because you wanted her to see that you already moved on even if you haven't?

Lastly, you said you had this two-year relationship with her. Then, she broke up with you.

Then after a year, you got back together again. Then for the second time, she broke

up with you for the same reason. After a few months,

I came into picture. Can you really move on in that short span of time?

When exactly did you break up? I know it's not good to compare, but for your information,

it took me a year or two to move on.

That's it. I don't know if I'll be able to tell this to you. Praying hard that I'll be brave.

Asking God to guide me and show me the right decision.

Do you know what, when you started to make friends with me and later on expressed
that you wanted to court me, I just went with the flow. I told myself "Okay, I'll just enjoy
it." Now, it came to the point when it's getting real. You are gradually becoming part
of my routine. You are becoming part of my life. And I'm getting scared. Too scared.