A Bunch of Everything

Typhoon Ondoy.. Its victims.. Their recovery.. The tragedy's lessons.. The things that I could do.. Our field trip on Saturday.. Our outing in Cebu and Bohol.. The new typhoon.. Our mental exercise in Sped.. Our Spanish exam.. My new work schedule.. The possibility of finding a new job.. "Love.." These are the things on my mind now.

That Saturday

Things happen in the blink of an eye. Last Friday, the people in Marikina still had their houses. Manileños were still able to use their cars. Cainta residents might still be hanging out with their families. Then came Saturday, Ondoy hit Metro Manila. Everything just turned upside down in a few hours. Some people have lost their cars, houses; unfortunately, others have even lost their family members.. =( It was so depressing and traumatic especially for them! Nevertheless, I'm sure there's a reason why it happened. It might be a wakeup call for us by Mother Nature. Perhaps, it's time everyone takes good care of her seriously. It's just sad that some kids suffered. Individuals who used to lack things now have nothing. I'm thinking how they're gonna move forward. With determination and with people giving hands, I know, in my heart, that they can make it. We're all in this together. =)

I Miss Him.. =(

What's up with me? Or what's up with the articles on Yahoo? I came across one about the signs that a guy is a keeper. Anyhow, I thought of a friend while I was reading it. I suddenly miss him. Yeah right, I'm hopeless romantic. *sigh*

He's the only fella (who's not gay) who has become really close with me. When we were still close, he used to text me regularly even we saw each other every day. We would eat and go home together. He came to be a real friend whom I could count on whenever I had problems. He was one of the most sincere persons I've known asking me personal questions. The best part was he made me smile. The downside was he was also the reason why I shed tears. Right, as the day went by, I didn't notice myself falling for him. I don't know but he also somewhat changed. (Did he see what I felt for him?) He can't blame me; he was the only straight guy I know who treated me that way.. =(

Now, we don't get to keep in touch with each other anymore. We still text though if we need to ask questions. That's it. Even I'm no longer into him, I still miss his company. I miss the feeling!

Woman's Pain

Yes, today's the day.. The day I've somewhat been dreading since I had it the first time. It's super painful! I was absent every month during school days because of it. Now, I have to endure having monthly period coz I can't skip work. Thanks to yoga! It's a bit bearable today. I should really do it regularly from now on.

Where?..

"If you were a jumper (like the one in the movie who can teleport), where would you like to be right now?" That's their question on Mellow Touch today, which made me think. Hmmm... I can think of two places now.

The first would be at a beach with my family - my mom, my dad, my sister, and my two brothers. We'll all be in bliss giggling, laughing, joking, and teasing one another. We'll tell everything that we want to talk about even our secrets and mischievousness. I would like to spend a whole month there. We'll do different activities each day like snorkeling, swimming, scuba diving and hiking. Everyone will be in charge to do a house chore alternately which means that we'll help each other. We'll watch the sun rise and set. We'll look at the sky, pray, and wish upon a shooting star together. Sometimes, we'll sleep in a room. Oh I wish I could be in that place soon!

Then, I would be invisible in a place where he is. I just want to know how he's like - how he laughs, gets mad, be sad, and treats people. I care to see what things could make him feel something. That's good for me. Seeing him and knowing that he's there are enough already. Haaay! I wonder what he's doing now.. *wink*

Weird and sentimental as they are; but, these are where I want to be right now. They're the ones that can make me really really happy.

What Kind of Book Are You?

I took another quiz and this was how it turned out.

You Are Action Adventure
You are lively and spirited. You like to be in the middle of the action, and you have a ton of energy.You are very driven, and not just with your career. You like to play hard as well!You are bold and brave. You're always looking for the next great adrenaline rush.It's likely that you are athletic or at least pretty physically active. It's hard for you to sit still.

Oh really, huh?

Not all Days are Happy

I'm not feeling very well today. Maybe because it's the Monday blues. I hope it's just it. But I think it's the mood I got at home. They're not okay again. She's been mad at him since he arrived from his tour. She got angry because she thinks he told a lie. Since then, she's been so cold with him. She doesn't talk to him. If she does, it'll be about bad things. She'll be irritated when he's there. She would complain about almost everything he'd do. Mom and I don't understand it. It's been years now. They'll be okay for some time; but, it won't take long. I'm getting tired of it! Though I can't do anything! What should we do? All we want is for him to finish his studies and have a good life. I somewhat understand why he's like that. I feel for him. I also get why she gets pissed off. However, I don't know why it takes her a long time to forgive him. Oh Lord! Please help them be okay. Mom's also suffering. It's too hard for us. We're all affected. =( May you both give them the enlightenment that they need. Please Lord.. I'm begging you.. Please...

Worthwhile Saturday

Our Intro to Sped class spent some quality time at Cupertino Center for Special Children today. It was their foundation day. Their theme was "Party like a Rock star." The kids danced with costumes. It was such a wonderful experience (reminding me to appreciate my life more)! Ü Kamikazee was just the icing on the cake! Jay seemed so nice! He kept on saying "Sorry po, di... kami marunong.. di kasi kami sanay kumanta sa umaga." Anyway, he's good-looking in person! =p Too bad we were in a hurry, don't have a pic with him.. =p

Being Spiritual Every Day

I just read an article on Oprah's site on how to be spiritual every day.

"Spiritual." A word that we commonly hear, it seems to be plain yet profound. Whenever I hear that, I remember our former Philosophy Society moderator back in college. He used to say that he would consider himself as spiritual rather than religious. (What's the difference? I will tell you later.) As I understand it, being one requires some kind of meditation and talk with God/ess regularly because I always saw him in the Chapel quietly praying.

The most popular definition of religious people is that they mainly base their faith on their religion, its rules, doctrines, and practices. Spiritual people, on the other hand, are the ones who seek God/ess and meaning of life individually. They have their own ways in journey to Him/Her. A lot debate on which one is better. For me, I agree to what a writer said that they actually complement each other. You need to find your Source privately and at times, with a community bonded by a religion.

Reading that article also reminded me of what Rick Warren, the author of The Purpose Driven Life, preaches. According to him, for us to uncover the real meaning of life, we must first get to know our Creator.

Going back to the article I read today... The author, Dr. Wayne W. Dyer, gave five ways on how to be spiritual every day:

1. Get quiet. He said that it's the language of God/ess. Of course, it's really important that we allot a silent moment each day. This is the time when we can think of everything that's happening and we've been doing. It's like your track checker, our moment with Her/Him.


2. Reenergize your surroundings. Our environment, no matter how we avoid it, can really affect us. Therefore, we choose to be with optimistic people. If we want to be aware of what's around us, we must pay attention to the details and simple things that we see.
   
3. Get back to nature. I totally agree with it. Whenever I'm around trees, I feel so peaceful. I can think clearly and it seems the Creator is just beside me whispering through the air.
4. Practice yoga. Though not always, I've been doing yoga for a year already. It helps me relax, focus, and sweat. Doing yoga after a long day at work slows me down.
5. Practice mindfulness. People often complain because of their monotonous lives. They're not aware that they can do little things to make their lives exciting. They just have to be a little creative.

I will try these myself. ^-^

Deja vu

Waah! I was just late (again) with my class! It's my second time! This should stop! This time, the manager found out about it. BAM! Though I'm still thankful that she didn't catch me sleeping (Yeah, I was sleeping!) and my student didn't get mad. Less than an hour before it, I was transferring my notes in Spanish; then, I got tired and fell asleep! When I woke up, I was already late for 7 minutes. I heard our manager calling my name after. Deja vu!

Craving

Being in the heavy side is in my dad's family and "eating" has become our hobby in all the sense of the word. We just so love it! As I grew older, I tried to cut it for a million times. Luckily, I was successful twice!

First was when I was forced to because of the coming prom. I was too scared to be the ugliest in the event; so, aside from the dance practice at school, I exercised at home and avoided to eat rice too. Canned tuna was the culprit why I went back to eating rice again. (I know, just an excuse!) I guess it was also because I didn't find time to exercise during college.

The second one was just recently. My sister's friend discovered this diet pill which was also effective for us. Also, I with my sister quited eating red meat. I really disciplined myself not to have sweets; just fruits and vegetables. Having fresh juices helped a lot. But I guess, being in love was the chief reason why I was so determined to lose weight. Wherefore, I stopped doing them when I fell out of love. (Wrong motive!)

Now you can picture how dieting has always become my problem. HUGE PROBLEM! I'm certain of what I want: I have to lose weight for health and aesthetic reasons. Though when I see food, I'm always ready to munch them. Everyday, I desire a certain taste; be it sweet, salty, spicy, or sour (that would surely complete my day). Everyday's a struggle. Oh boy! Tomorrow's another day, another test of my drive and discipline..

Soliloquy

Here I am again.. listening to the music.. looking blankly at the computer.. thinking of what to write.. In the radio, they're talking about job and career.. Which one do I have now? A job which provides me a living or a career or passion that I enjoy doing? I actually have both; that's good! But it doesn't really do much in term of financial matters. I couldn't even pay half of our house's bills. I couldn't give my mom something she could use for her medicine. My salary's not even enough for all my expenses. My parents still have to support me. Ugh! I hope a time would come when I'll be the one to help them.

I'm not doing anything now. My reports are already finished. I'll have my class in forty minutes. I don't know what to do. When I'm busy, I can think of a bunch of things to do. But now that my schedule is super loose, I don't know what to do. I want to study Spanish; but, I left my notes at home. Oh yeah! I can study on line! I can look for and memorize the verb conjugation on line! Yay! Ciao!

What's Up?

It's been quite a long time (long enough for me) since my last blog. I've been very busy with my report. It turned out really well anyway. It was worth all the sleep deprivation, hard work, hand given by some friends, support from the family, money, and tears. Yes, I cried two days before the presentation. I was so desperate to finish all the things I had to pass that I thought of giving up already. Because I started conceptualizing and doing it a few weeks before the presentation, I didn't foresee myself crammed. But I did, as always. The person who should have helped me wasn't so helpful after all. During the presentation, she even had the nerve to insist on introducing a material from me. What the! She was so.. I would accept it if she was the one who did most of the work. But, she didn't! How dare her pretending to be a leader! How dare her complaining about our expenses if she didn't help me doing our outputs! Can I say that she was also too lazy?! I tried to ask for her help but she said that she was too busy. What did she think of my schedule? The only thing she did was starting a PowerPoint presentation that wasn't complete anyway. In fairness to her, she did well with the demo. If only I didn't want to start an issue in the class, I would have confronted her about her attitude. I would have ranted about it. I've never encountered a person like her before!

Anyhow, I should not think about her anymore. There were more good things I learned while preparing or doing that presentation. One is my family who was very supportive of me. They were there from the start especially my brother and my mom who became my sponge. My friends were also very supportive. They helped me conceptualize for the creative output. One of them even made me paper dolls. During the presentation, my classmates were super cooperative. Thanks to them!

I also learned that early preparation is really good and that you'll never feel completely prepared for something no matter how advance you start a project. In any case, it's still a nice thing. Your nervousness will keep you going.

That was what kept me busy the past few days. It's time for me to do another project.. Moving on now..

How Happy Are You

Wee! Here's the result of the "happiness" test I got from my cousin's blog.

You Are 92% Happy

It's unlikely that you know anyone happier than you.You know how to be happy, no matter what life throws at you.

I hope I can keep that up or do better! *wink*

Have a break!

These days, almost everyone uses a computer - from a little school child to a graduate school student. Having a computer has become "a need" rather than "a want." When we need to research something or we're just bored, we consult the internet. We depend that much from the computer, especially in my case. In the office, I'm in front of the computer from 5 AM to 2 PM. I actually enjoy it.

The other day (after finishing my classes and my reports), instead of going out for lunch, I decided to eat and read some news in my station. That hurt my eyes so badly and caused me a terrible headache. No matter how I wanted to finish the article I was reading, my eyes already gave up. So, I stood up, walked around, and stared at something refreshing. It did help my eyes relax. Then I had this "corny" epiphany.

Working on a computer is like living a life. No matter how hard and eager we try to continue and how we enjoy things, we have to stop, pause, and break away. At times, we many not notice it. But really.. WE NEED A BREAK FROM TIME TO TIME! I need a break!

Taking Risks

In facebook last Saturday, my friend and I were talking about getting old and maturity. I said I'm not sure if I've already matured. As for her, she was certain that she indeed has and told me that for you to do so, you have to take risks.

Then in my Spanish class, we agreed that falling in love also involves uncertainties. You'll never be sure if the person you love also feels the same for you. You have to take chances.

Life is a gamble.. I know.. But how much should I risk for me to mature? Do I need to try things which I won't enjoy? I'm trying to get out of the box as much as possible. I'm trying to do new things as often as I can. What else should I do?

Babae... Matandang Sumasayaw... Gitara... Singsing... Babaeng Sumasayaw sa Ulanan... Diary na may Bahid ng Dugo...

I got this from my multiply entry last year.

It's so funny reading something I wrote years ago. While cleaning my stuffs yesterday, I found this. =DMs. Shaira Salvador, one of ABS-CBN's finest scriptwriters and our former professor (I'm not bragging naman noh?! Hehe!Really, I'm just proud of her.) gave us the words above. In an hour, we were asked to make a story out of them. This is what I did.

Tag-ulan na naman! Eto ang gustung-gustong panahon ni Maira... Mag-emote! Wala
lang! Tumingin sa bintana - silipin ang mga pinaggagagawa ng kanyang mga
kapitbahay habang bumubuhos ang malakas na ulan.
Napatingin s'ya sa bahay ni
Mang Tasyo at natawa! "Eto talagang si Mang Tasyo! Walang tigil ang sayaw
umulan man o umaraw.. Paborito n'ya ang Pandanggo.Kahit walang kapareha, wala
s'yang pakialam. Sayaw, sayaw, sayaw!" Naisip ni Maira.
Nabaling naman ang
tingin ni Maira sa ilog. Dahil nga tag-ulan, marahil ay mapuno na naman ito at
baka bumaha. "Paano nalang pag bumaha?" Habang iniisip ito, nakita n'ya
ang gitara ni Daniel, sira na naman! Ayun at lumulutang na nga pala sa ilog!
"Heto talaga si Daniel, walang pinagbago! Magmula nung bata, hindi na natuto
magpahalaga sa mga ibinibili ng Lola Debra n'ya. Naku! Siguro'y nalulungkot na
naman 'yung matanda. Akalain n'yo bang ibinenta pa nito ang engagement ring
nilang mag-asawa para lang mabili ang gitarang ito." Hindi nga nagkamali si
Maira. Umiiyak nga ang lola ni Daniel na nakatulala sa ilog habang nakaupo sa
tindahan ni Aling Maria.
Teka, nasaan nga pala ang aling 'yun? Ba't wala sa
tinahan n'ya? Naku! Andun pala sa kalsada! Tumatawa't nagpapaulan! Ganyan talaga
s'ya... Parang bata! Tuwang-tuwa kapag umuulan!! Inaalala n'ya lang ang mga
masasayang araw nila ni Mang Julio. Haaayyy! Tandang-tanda pa ni Maira ang mga
paghihirap ni Aling Maria nang mamatay ang asawa nito. Paano ba naman eh sumali
yata ito sa giyera sa abroad! Hindi na nakita ang katawan nito at tanging diary
lamang na may bahid ng dugo nito ang pinanghahawakan ng asawa. Mabuti nalang at
okay na s'ya ngayon. Pero kahit patawa-tawa lang s'ya, kita pa rin ni Maira ang
lungkot sa kanyang mga mata.
Humihina na ang ulan... Napangiti nalang si
Maira habang nakatingin pa rin sa bintana.Bigla nalang s'yang tumakbo at
sinamahan na rin si Aling Maria. "Haayy, ang sarap talagang maligo sa ulanan!"

"Love" (for the 5th of September)

In my Spanish class this morning, our teacher let us listen to a song entitled "Te Amare" (I will love you). It was about a newlywed couple's promise for each other. It was so beautiful that some of us (including me) cried even the one I least expected to be emotional. It's such a beautiful song regarding unconditional love. No doubt, that's possible for mothers. How about for lovers? Here it is:

TE AMARÉ

Artist: Miguel Bose

Con la paz de las montañas, te amaré

Con locura y equilibrio, te amaré

Con la rabia de mis años

Como me enseñaste a hacer

Con un grito en carne viva, te amaré

En secreto y en silencio, te amaré

Arriesgando en lo prohibido, te amare

En lo falso y en lo cierto

Con el corazón abierto

Por ser algo no perfecto, te amaré

Te amaré, te amaré

Como no está permitido

Te amaré, te amaré

Como nunca se ha sabido

Por que así lo he decidido... te amaré

Por ponerte algún ejemplo, te diré

Que aunque tengas manos frías, te amaré

Con tu mala ortografía y tu no saber perder

Con defectos y manías... te amaré

Te amaré, te amaré

Por que fuiste algo importante

Te amaré, te amaré

Cuando ya no estés presente

Seguirás siendo costumbre

Y te amaré

Al caer de cada noche esperaré

A que seas luna llena y te amaré

Y aunque queden pocos restos

En señal de lo que fue

Seguirás cerca y muy dentro

Te amaré

Te amaré, te amaré

A golpe de recuerdo

Te amaré, te amaré

Hasta el último momento

A pesar de todo siempre...

Te amaré.

Most of us want to be loved. But are we willing to give love despite everything? I don't know.

A Prayer

Dear God,

On our way home last Wednesday, my new friends were talking about their partners (husband and boyfriend). It was just natural for them to ask if I have one. I wasn't surprised. People always ask me the same question; but, my answer has never changed. It's always "No." They would ask why. I would say, "I don't know." They'll reply by throwing another query which is if I already had one before. I would smile and proclaim that I'm a member of the NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth) club. Going back to the conversation with my friends, they advised me to pray for the one and be specific with it. They said that my prayer will be answered.

Actually, I've been wondering why I don't have a boyfriend yet or why I'm having a hard time finding one. I don't even know if I'm ready for it. Maybe, that's the reason. In any case, I hope I'll be prepared someday. I wish I'll be mature enough for that commitment.

When that day comes, Lord.. I have some requests.. I want someone who loves You more than anyone and anything in this world, Catholic but not a priest, Lord. ;) I believe everything good follows when he's like that. He'll be a good and matured person who'll understand and accept me as "me." He'll be good enough to be sensitive for the needs of other people and be loyal with me. He'll be supportive to whatever I want in life and open to anything and everything. In this way, we can do and try lots of activities. Though, he must know what he really wants. He must be brave enough to fight for it. Also, I like a man who's smart enough whom I can talk to about anything and who have a sense of humor. Physically, I would be pleased if he's a bit tall, a bit chubby, and good looking. It would also nice if he has fair complexion. Of course, he should be single or better if he's a few years older than me. I don't really like someone who's rich but I want the one who's a good provider - the one who can help me send our future children to school, enjoy, travel, etc. Finally, the man should be the one who loves me and whom I love.

It's funny because I'm like ordering something from a store or a restaurant. Again, these are just my requests, Lord. I know that you still know who's best for me, the one who'll grow and mature with me. Thank you! (Thanks also to my friends who helped me come up with this.)

For this, I pray in the Name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Amen.

My Best Friend

When I was young, I didn't like her that much,

She always nagged at me,

She always got mad at me,

She even scolded me in front of my classmates and I wasn't fond it.

BUT NOW...

She's the woman I trust the most,

There maybe things that I don't share with her but I know that I can tell her everything.

She's the woman who's aware what I exactly need,

She knows it even before I tell her.

Her gut feelings are always true.

I don't know how she does it.

But she definitely knows what's best for me.

She's the person whom I have misunderstanding with most of the time,

We always find things to argue with,

But then, I guess because we're just being true with each other.

Whenever these things happen and I hurt her feelings,

She's always ready to accept and embrace me.

She's the woman who knows me the most.

Who loves me the most,

Who cares for me the most,

She's my mom,

My best friend.

There's Always a First Time

The saying "There's always a first time." is indeed true whether in a positive or a negative way. I've been working for this company for a year already. In that span of time, I've never been super late with my classes. (If I would, it would just be for a minute or two and because I had succeeding students before it.) Only today. Guess what my reason was and how minutes. I was busy finishing my monthly reports and chatting with my friends. Yeah right! If I didn't go to my friend's station and saw the time, I would not remember my class. Whew! I was late for fifteen minutes! I'm still lucky because my student didn't get mad and my group leader is very considerate. My GL asked our manager to just postpone that class today. Thank God!

Anyway, all I want to say is that there are times when things unexpectedly come to us. It's indispensable. Sometimes, they're pleasant. At times, they're not. No matter how careful we are, we will definitely experience such. Therefore, we must always be ready for these. Let's be open and learn from them. It's part of being alive and it's what makes our lives exciting. Hmmm.. I wish a pleasant "first time" is waiting for me. ;)

Words of Wisdom from Thomas Edison

This morning, my friend asked us about the saying "Genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration." Does it sound familiar? Yes, it was said by none other than Thomas Edison, the American who invented the electric light bulb. Reflecting on it, I was moved and googled him. In Wikipedia, I found lots of inspirational quotes from the inventor. Here they are:

"Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work."

"I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work."

"Everything comes to him who hustles while he waits."

"There is no expedient to which a man will not go to avoid the labor of thinking."

"I am much less interested in what is called God's word than in God's deeds. All bibles are man-made."

"I'd put my money on the sun and solar energy. What a source of power!"

"Discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I'll show you a failure."

"I find out what the world needs. Then, I go ahead and invent it."

"We don't know a millionth of one percent about anything."

"Just because something doesn't do what you planned it to do doesn't mean it's useless."

What I liked most about these is that they're about trying things, working hard, and taking risks to achieve what you want - the stuffs I don't always do. I'm used to taking things slowly but surely. It's safe to say that I didn't even want to lose any game before. But, I've changed. Now, I will take risks, try trillions of things, and work harder to reach my dreams.