Sunday, February 28, 2010

Blue

I sometimes don't understand my mom... Maybe, she's still in her era... She believes that when I answer back, I'm not a good daughter anymore. She thinks that a good child is someone who just stays at home - someone who does chores and never goes out. That's the negative thing when parents and children have a big age gap. *sob sob*
Perhaps, I should have gone to my friend's party.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Overturned

I still do not understand why a lot of things are so confusing. It's only a day before the V-day; so, a part of me is asking again why I can't be in a relationship. Ugh! I don't like this love sickness! Anyhow, while ladies are anticipating this day, a former coworker starts chatting with me. What's the big deal? I'm not sure; but, I'm not comfortable with his questions. He's asking where I am, what time I'm gonna go home, and who my Valentine date is. I've no intention to assume what his purpose of asking is; but, I really feel it's freaky. Meanwhile, the man that I already want to forget who's also on line doesn't even care to ask how I am. *sigh* Why is it like that? The person you like is not interested with you; but, the one you don't keeps on bugging you. I'm sorry for the word. Oh life! I wish he would be the one to bug me. I would be very pleased to entertain him. Ha-ha! But yes, I'm truly trying to forget him! And I've got to go back to work now. I'm wishing everyone a lovely Valentine's Day!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

I'll Make It Up...

I did something not good today. Now, I'm scared of karma. I'm guilty. It's not that bad; but, it's still not good... Please forgive me, Lord! I'm sorry!

Monday, February 8, 2010

Move on...

Move on!
He doesn't like you!
Don't have the illusion that he's just waiting for something!
He's not interested with you!
If he is, he should have done it before!
It's time for you to live life without that delusion!
It's for your own good!
You can do it!
You've already done that once.
Then, you can do it again.
You can.
Use your brain.
Forget him.
Forget all about him.
Be happy with all the things that you have now.
Focus on the things that matter.
Focus.

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Feeling Better



Thank God/ess! I just had to write what I felt... I just needed to share my worries with someone... Thanks to my cousin! God/ess will guide, bless, and protect us♥

Fear


A lot of people I know passed away last year and at the start of this year. That freaks me out. I told my friend about it and her reaction was too casual. She said that all of us will go there; so, why would I be afraid? In reality, it does not just scare me - it haunts me!Now, I'm figuring out where I'm coming from.

I grew up seeing my mom suffer from her heart disease and stomach cramps. I was always scared that they might attack anytime. It made me dread that thing that I still don't want to say. Every time my mom got sick, she would always tell me to be ready for it. I hate that feeling! I don't know if that's normal; but, it still comes to my mind from time to time especially now that I'm getting more mature. (Just like a few years ago.) I was used to witnessing my dad being the strongest in the family; so, when we found out that he has diabetes, it made me anxious even more. Now, we're always worried about his health. My sister and I are always concerned about our parents, their health and their safety. When my dad travels, I would pray really hard. When I go somewhere, I would always think of it as well. When I go apart from my loved ones even for a few hours, I would feel that. It's not good anymore, right? I'm thinking of consulting a counselor, a priest, or a psychiatrist. Oh God/ess! Please help me! I don't want to attract negative energies! Please! I need to help myself!

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Langgam... Langgam...
Where do you come from?
Whenever there's food, you just appear out of nowhere,
In the kitchen, in my room,
Actually, you're everywhere.
With or without food, I can see you,
You're too tiny but it hurts when you bite me.
I can kill you; but, you leave me with itchy marks.
What's your secret?
Langgam... Langgam...
Please leave me alone!
Bow!

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Summer

I'm used to the weather in my country. It's hot! And when I say hot, it's really hot! However, today's like the first day of summer - extremely hot that my head is aching. Hence, I remember my childhood days again. This was the time I enjoyed the most! I would just stay at home all day, listen to music, read books, talk to my family, and eat. When I'd stay in Batangas, we would just hang out and lie on a hammock under a mango tree all afternoon. I loved the nonstop chitchat and the snack in the province. We would have fresh fruits or any delicacies available. Yummy! Then, we would sometimes visit my cousin in Manila. Watching TV, eating ice cream or halo-halo, going to the mall, and eating out were our usual activities there. Fun fun fun! I'm officially welcoming you, Summer! Time to splash some water! Season to be ha-ha-happy!

A Visit


Yesterday, I went to his office to do some research. Good thing I didn't see him. I really didn't want to because I wouldn't know how to react if I'd do. To make sure that I wouldn't look pathetic walking alone, I asked my friend to accompany me. Nothing unusual happened. I was able to get what I needed. It just felt so good to see the place where he works. I imagined him striding into the corridor I passed. I pictured him talking to the same people I talked to, looking at the similar view I glanced. I even thought of him waiting for a cab on the same spot where we caught one. =D

Monday, February 1, 2010

Exhausted



How time flies!
It's already February...
There are so many things to be done...
I don't know where to start...
Please help me, God/ess...
I want a more simple life...
But, how?...