Pessimist? Am I?

Pessimist. That was what I used to call my mom. She has this tendency to always look at the negative side of things. For instance, when I ask her permission to go somewhere, she would instantly think that the place is not safe, so she'll ask me to text her the address and bring things I'll need in case my life will be in danger. When she sees something bad on TV, she'll associate that with me. I didn't understand her. Honestly, I used to sometimes blame her for our misfortunes.
Why did I think of that? Well, I just read a friend's status on Facebook being so thankful for her boyfriend. They've been together for ten years already. She just can't thank him enough for always being there for her. I'm not sure but I think she also mentioned that she must have done something good in her past life for being so lucky. For that, I am truly happy for her. However, I can't also help but wonder if I've done something wicked in my past life. After saying that though, I'm now retracting that. Maybe, I still need to learn more before God shows him. I need to be positive. I have to. God has given me free will. I'll just continue to pray.